Men in Uniform

My friends and I always joke about how good guys look in uniform. We admire (to be stated lightly) the uniformed men that walk in the school to pick up their kids from school. We see them everywhere. The store, the metro, Baskin Robbins-it goes with where we live. It's one of the "curses" of living 20 mins from the nation's capital and the bases for every military branch. We talk about wanting to date/marry a man in uniform.


(This picture is of a man who, as soon as he got on the Metro, pulled out his Bible, notebook and highlighter and dug into God's Word. I just had to get a picture. This totally rocked my world.)

I've changed my mind. Oh, they still look AMAZING in their uniforms. But I don't want to marry one.

Over the last month, I've sat at my computer and cried for friends who have lost their loves. Their "men in uniform". It just makes my heart ACHE to read about a girl, Ashley Tack,  losing her fiancée to a STUPID suicide bomber who was dressed up like a woman walking around the marketplace. And Jake Leicht, a kid I did summer camp and missions trips with, who never had his soap, towels or ANYTHING that one would need for camp, died after they drove over a bomb in the road. Previously he had gone through 2 years of physical therapy and begged to be allowed to go back and serve his country. And he's gone. 

I just ache for their families. For their loves. For all they have had to go through, wondering if they are still alive, wondering when they aren't going to be anymore. Hearing the news that they aren't. Getting that knock on the door. It didn't really affect or bother me before. I was in western PA and had nothing connecting me to the war. And now, living in NOVA, having so many students with parents in uniform, losing friends because of being transferred to another base, having friends suffer because their friends are being sent to other locations, I'm connected now. This war is affecting me.

Lord,  I want to thank You for the strength you are giving these families. Please hold Ashley close to You. Help her know that You will never let go. Please hold and protect and comfort all the families that have lost and will lose, every day, one of their loves.

One of the men in uniform.

And it's only 9:55am

I don't know when I've felt such an influx of emotions in such a short amount of time. I know it's not abnormal, and people go through stuff all the time.

It's just been a long time since it's happened to me. A long time since my emotions have been thrown for a loop.

High-I finished ALL MY GRADES! No more red pen until September! No more entering grades into the computer!

Low-Last night I was doing something and it made me realize how much things are going to change in the next 12 days. Thinking back through all the memories and the great times Erin and I've had over the last 3 years brings so many laughs...and tears. It's going to end. We'll still be great friends, but there won't be the 11pm ice cream runs, the themed movie marathons and dinners, the sit around all Saturday and do nothing together just because we can, etc. I was up pretty late-1am and then couldn't get to sleep.

High- This morning is so exciting because it's the LAST MONDAY of the school year! I came to school charged and ready (even though I'm on little sleep). Tonight I'm going out to Bonefish grill with Erin, Jo Anne and Kim. They are forcing me to try good fish. I'm not too excited. ;-) It'll be a fun time together. A last hoorah.

Low/High-Then, I had my end of the year evaluation with the principal and assistant principal. I was up and down with that one- wasn't sure what to expect. I thought it was after school today so I was taken off guard when they came to my room to get me. It went really well-I got mostly 5s! I know there are a ton of areas I need to work on, hence the 4s, but it's a growing thing. They said they are really pleased with what I'm doing and how the things I do don't go unnoticed. I just try to do my part and extra-because I don't have a full classroom so I do have that extra time and less responsibilities in certain areas. I'm thankful that God has given me a servant's heart. It's so easy for me to help and I know it's a gift. Nothing I've done to earn it.

Low- VERY LOW- Eric texted me last night and asked me to pray about a HUGE decision that he has to make. Ok, sure. I'd love to pray. Anything for him. Then today, while I'm teaching a class, he hands me a "Reference Evaluation for Amherst School", and all he says is that we'll talk about it later. WHAT. How can he do that? How can he leave me here with this feeling in the pit of my stomach. How can he hand ME a reference form that will help him get a job at ANOTHER school. I wanted to throw up. I still do. I don't want to fill it out. Anytime I think about it, I get sick. I don't want to talk to him about it. He already knows what I think and what I'm going to say.

How do I be supportive? How do I let ANOTHER best friend go this year?