Eharmony, Esharmony

Frustration. Disappointment. Grrrr.


So here's the thing-I've been on Eharmony for awhile. The truth's out. ;-) I've never (and will never) pay full price for it, and right now I have a coupon code that will get me 6 months for the price of one! It's been quite an interesting experience. Sometimes I love it, other times, I really hate it. I like that it's an intense profile, and the process of matching is pretty cool. I keep getting the guys who say, "well, I'm kinda quiet when you meet me, but after that, I open up." ????? Me??? Profiled and matched with "quiet" guys?? I always thought I needed someone more crazy than me, but maybe not? I was asked to think about what it'd be like to have 2 people like me in a house, and I have to admit....I prob DO need someone that would calm me down, not fight for attention. :-) And it seems to be the majority, so maybe it's right. 


Well, as of right now, I have 914 closed matches. Ones that I thought were just not for me, lived too far away, ones who weren't called to missions, ones that were pretty ugly, or didn't have a picture, ones who loved their dog WAAAy too much, had a job that was just waaaay out there (video gamer, etc) or actually closed me and thought I wasn't the one for them. (What? Come on...I'm amazing!) And, I also have 87 guys who I'm "Waiting for his Response". 87?? Is that even possible or right? I hate it. What is taking them so long to respond?? Are they debating? Are they no longer paying for it because of the economy and they can't respond? Are they just hoping I'll go away if they don't answer?




I keep going back and forth with the idea of Eharmony. Biblical? Normal? Modern way of dating? (FYI-there's nothing in the Bible about internet dating services. :-) I just listened to Nancy Lee DeMoss and she was talking about it.  She thinks we are basically not trusting God when we do things like this. Me taking this into my own hands is saying that I don't think God can handle it, so I need to do the looking. That has been a struggle of mine for awhile. How much am I to do? I can't just sit in my room, hoping that God drops a husband in my lap, can I? I also can't be throwing myself at any guy on any whim. I agree-I try to just hold fast to the truth that God knows what He's doing and He doesn't need my help. It's a very biblical truth. 


I was on a kick recently and I initiated conversation with 6 or 7 guys (well, I sent 5 mult-choice questions to them before they sent them to me) and was excited to hear back. Nuthin. Nada. Now, that was me initiating. Is that wrong? Should I wait for them to send me questions? Is that me pursuing the guy instead of him pursuing me? Nancy said it was. It's not like I was asking him out to dinner or over to my house for the weekend. It was 5 questions. I figure that if I want to stand out in the 5 matches a day he gets in his mailbox, then I'll be the one to write.  


I've had 2 experiences with things actually going further with the people I've talked to. I've been talking to one guy as a friend for over 1 1/2 yrs.  I actually met one of my matches in person. (Don't worry, I was smart and safe about it all.)  But the hard part was this (and a HUGE downfall for eHarmony and long distance dating), we were at two different stages in our relationship. We were more "intimate" (VERY loosely used here) in our conversing through email and very immature with our interaction. I knew so much about him, but didn't know how to talk to him. Didn't know his body language. It's like we had two diff. relationships going on at the same time. I didn't feel like I could talk to him about stuff that we'd say through email because it really felt like it was a different person altogether. Nothing ever came of that relationship, except maybe a friendship. 


So anyhow, I've signed up for the next 3 months and we'll see what happens. I get so frustrated and just sit and wait. 


Goal for this school year- stop sitting around and waiting for life to happen, waiting for dating/marriage to happen, and do things now. Use my singleness. Stop living like life is on hold. Serve God now.