If I could be a color, it might just be blue.
This last couple of weeks have been a series of letdowns. Bummers. Things that haven't made me very happy. Made me quite sad, actually. To the point of tears. Aches. Disappointment.
For the past year, we've been talking about our next international missions trip-to the land of my heart-Peru. It's been 4 years since I've been there. It's been talked about, and we've been hoping and planning and dreaming about this trip. I told my kids we were coming. And now we aren't going. I know the great people in charge are being responsible and did so much research and know what they're doing. But that doesn't help the ache. It doesn't help the letdown. It doesn't help me get back to my kids. And friends. And the passion that's burning in my heart to go back. Instead of Peru they are planning a trip to Dominican Republic. Cool. Great. Fun! Get to work and serve God! I love it! I'm glad they aren't just giving up and not doing anything.
But it's not Peru.
So I was thinking, Hey! Let's drive with Erin to California when she moves! How amazing would THAT be to drive across country this summer! A dream coming true. A great way to end our time together. A kinda longtime farewell to a great friend and an amazing 3 year time together as best friends.
Nope. No trip. We talked about it as if it's a possibility. Like it would work. And I think that's what has me most bummed. If you aren't sure it's possible, then don't act as if it's going to be a for sure thing. Don't get my hopes up and then shoot them down. Talk about it as if it might work, and then confirm. Not the other way around. So yep. Not doing THAT this summer.
Today I put in a request for a day off when Amy comes on her Spring Break. WOOHOOOOO. I can't wait until she gets here. It'll be some much needed sister time. But when I was in the office, the secretaries were giving me a hard time about other people taking off that day and they didn't know if they could get a sub. IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM! Hire more subs!!! I have personal days, so I'm going to use them. Don't make ME feel bad about asking for time off. DON'T put that guilt on me!
Ugh.
Anything else want to be a bummer for me? I wonder what else will disappoint me. What else WON'T happen? What else will rob me of joy?
2 comments:
i'll tell those secretaries what's up. I'M COMING DOWN THERE!!!! :p haha.
~me
Wow Abby,
I feel like I've had a month of downs as well. It's so hard missing a country that you love and is so far away you can't visit it easily. Many people don't understand this and won't. Also, trips planned and then cancelled. The disappointment is hard, grr. And then when big things disappoint us it's easy for the smaller disappointments to seem unbearable too. I'm praying all works out with your day off situation.
Do you think it's possible to make a trip to Peru with the money you would have used to travel across the country with your friend? I don't know, just throwing that idea out there.
I hope things look up for you in the next few weeks.
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