The right thing at the wrong time...is still wrong.

I had it all planned. 


I was going to leave this school, move with Erin to Indianapolis, get an amazing job, be 2 hours from Rach, find myself a cowboy and life would be grand.


And then, I asked God what He thought I should do. His plan was different than my plan. Go figure. 


Let's back up a little. Erin and her parents spent Christmas break looking for houses that her parents could buy, we'd pay rent, and move to Indiana.  Cost of living is less, guys in Indiana want to get married, and we'd be out of the fast paced city life we have now. They found great houses and put offers in. All the offers fell through. 


I was telling people about my move and the first question would be, 
"oh so you have a job there?"  
"well, no...."
"So you're going without having a job?"
"Well, in the teaching world, the window is really small, and the jobs aren't available right now."
"ohh....hmmmm"
I didn't care what they were saying. I was still going to move. I didn't forget what they said, I just kept on going.


And then every day on the middle school news channel, they were reporting about the unemployment rate and how the lines are so long and high schoolers can't get high school jobs because middle class workers were taking the jobs at McDonald's. 


Then we got our intent forms in our boxes. Ughhh. The dreaded intent forms. I was still undecided. Erin's sure she's to go. I was going along with her. I mean, there are things that I could SURELY do without, but there were things that were tugging at my heart. Things that I didn't know if I could let go. 


Jo Anne (elementary admin) pulled me into her room to talk to me about my intent form. She told me she hadn't feltl the need to talk to anyone in the last 3 yrs about their intent but she wanted to talk to me.  She really didn't want me to leave.  I have felt, before then, that if I was to leave that I would be easily replaced, that I was invaluable. She took the time to tell me my strengths and about the ministry and impact she saw that I have and have had with the students. She didn't think my ministry was done here yet. I told her all the things that I dreaded leaving-
(1) the 7th graders whom I LOVE and would have them in History (who were my 5th graders the first year here)
(2) the volleyball team which I treasure. We have to defend our championship!
(3) the chance that I have to teach Spanish. I'd never really get that anywhere else. I'm not bilingual. I just LOVE the language and I love to pass the love onto the children. And they are loving it. And learning it.  I even have one kid telling his mom, "I love Mondays. I get to see Senorita Peffer 2 times on Monday."
(4) Being involved with the Middle Schoolers and working with the staff there. 


I'm crying and she's says to me, "Abby, you can stay. You realize that? You can stay."


A HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders. I can stay. I could stay.


Then I went into Eric's empty office and bawled my eyes out. And then, only then, did I decide to ask God what He wanted me to do. I was afraid to ask Him because I knew His answer and I didn't want His answer. I don't want to leave Erin.  I don't want to have a best friend leave and I have to stay. 


I turned my intent form in----with a check on yes, I'm staying.


I then had to tell Erin. OH.MY.WORD.   That was NOT fun. God gave me the words, let her show me the grace I needed and after a couple of awkward days we talked it out and life is good.