The Weekend Funk

I love weekends. Teachers LIVE for weekends. EVERYONE lives for weekends. I've noticed today that I get myself into a funk during the weekend. It's the only time I'm able to actually stop and think. Think about life, think about family, think about God, think about me and God and think about all of the things that I wish to be doing. I become so discontent on the weekends. I know that there is such a short amount to do those things and then I spend half the weekend sleeping or reading. The things I want to do just aren't Saturday yearnings, but summer yearnings and life yearnings.

I want to paint my livingroom. I want my house to feel like a home. I want to travel the world---right now. I want to be with all of my friends all at the same time. I want to love the church I'm at. I want to be at home with my family yet at the same time I wish I was at college with Cori and everything there. I want to be in Peru at La Molina, I want to be in China with Cori. I want to be dating, I want to stay single, I want to get married, I want to have kids, I never want to see a kid again because I've been with them all week. All of these things and longings are hitting me at the same exact time.

I want to understand why my aunt and uncle are having such a hard time. How can it be perfect on the day of the wedding and then turn into this? I want to yell at them, hug them, pray for them until I can't pray any longer. I want to fix things. I want to understand. I want to cry.

Imagine having all of these things hit you at the same time. Now I think I see why all I do on the weekends is schoolwork, sleep and lose myself in a book. If I'm reading, I'm not thinking, not getting attacked by all of these longings.

I'm off to go curl up on Erin's trundle bed, get lost in that book and fall asleep praying.